It seems like singleness is rampant these days. There are so many seminars and books to help people cope with being single. There are countless dating apps and websites for finding love and making sure you find “the one.” There aren’t many places devoted to helping one be single. There is an enormous societal push to get people married, yet so many remain single. This question was impressed on my spirit this week, can being single be a calling for someone’s life?
Jesus said in Matthew 19:12, “For there are some eunuchs who were that way from birth, and some who were made eunuchs by others, and some who became eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who is able to accept this should accept this.” To give this verse some context, in the beginning of Matthew 19 the disciples are asking Jesus about divorce. Jesus says that Moses allowed it in cases of immorality, or adultery, because of our hard hearts, but this is not God’s original plan. The disciples say if this is the case, it’s better to not marry. It’s at this point that Jesus says, some are naturally incapacitated for marriage, some are made to not marry by others, and some voluntarily abstain from marriage for God.
Jesus lays out three situations in which people remain single. There are some people who never intend to marry or can’t do so because of mental or health reasons. They are naturally incapacitated for marriage. I can understand that. Another situation is when some choose not to marry in order to serve God. I can understand this too. I admire people who are able to do this. They get to serve God wholeheartedly without certain distractions their entire lives.
These people are like Paul, choosing to remain single in order to best serve the kingdom of God. In 1 Corinthians 7:7 Paul says, “ But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.” Paul says singleness and marriage are both gifts, but it’s better to stay single. How often do you view singleness as a gift? What if you fall into the other category Jesus talks about?
The other category Jesus talks about is when someone did not marry because of others. The message bible puts it this way, “Others never get asked–or accepted.” These people clearly have the desire to marry, just never had the opportunity to do so. This one is a little harder to understand because this very well could be me. Only time will tell. In the meantime, I will look at singleness as a gift; a gift God gives to everyone, at least for a little while.
Lastly, Jesus says, “the one who is able to accept this should accept this.” Marriage isn’t for everyone. Are you called to be single? The only way to find out the what God has in store for you is to get closer to Him through praying, fasting, and studying His word. The only way to accept this is to know His will for your life. He will give you everything you need to sustain you. Take this time of singleness and enjoy life. Pursue God, serve Him with reckless abandon. Go out into the world and tell them about all He has done for you. Once you get married, you may not have the same opportunity to do these things.
I had a hard time writing this because I want to marry. I wasn’t quite sure why God impressed this question upon my heart. Even as I type this, I’m praying for my future husband. In the book When God Writes Your Love Story by Leslie and Eric Ludy, a woman says that she is called to be single today. That answer resonated with me. I can’t worry about tomorrow, today has enough troubles of its own. So, am I called to be single? At least for today, I am. Hopefully, my answer will change one day, but if it doesn’t, I will still live for God. I will pursue Him. I will make sure my heart is in the right posture by putting God first. I will view my life as a gift.
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the gift of singleness. You know what I need and when I need it. I’m deciding to put my trust in You. I want what You have for me. Let Your will be done. Thank You, Father, for this time so that I am able to get closer to You than ever before. Thank You for gracing me in my singleness. Thank You for renewing my mind in Christ, helping me to see this time in my life as I have never seen it before. Thank You for a refreshing, and for the peace that comes along with it.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
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