Maybe it’s you. Let’s consider for a moment that you are the reason you are single. Maybe it’s not because all men or women are trash. Maybe it’s not God. Maybe we are blocking our own blessings.
Let me get personal for a minute. Maybe I’m the reason I’m single. I have to take an honest look at myself. In which areas could I improve?
I’m a horrible flirter. I take things too literally. I often can’t tell when someone is interested in or flirting with me. I give direct answers to flirty questions. I always think people are being nice, not flirty. Men walk away without my number assuming I wasn’t interested. My friends have to tell me when someone flirting with me.
I don’t really go out. Most of the time I’m tired from work or church and when I get some time to myself, I want to spend it resting. How can I meet someone when I’m at home alone so much?
Do I even really know what I’m looking for in a future spouse. I always say things like he should have a good sense of humor and be a man of God, but what do those things really mean?
Do I want him to be funny or just know how to take a joke? Do I just want him to go to church or do I want him to have a relationship with Christ?
Am I still bitter from past relationships? Do I make the new men pay for what the old man did? Have I really forgiven my ex like I thought I did? I still have trust issues. I’m not sure I believe that a man will be faithful.
Let’s go a bit deeper. Am I being obedient to God’s word and His will? Does my daily walk look like I’m a follower of Christ? Am I willing to serve and be supportive?
Can I be selfless and forgiving? Am I prepared to let someone else have a say in my decisions other than God?
Or maybe I’m fantastic and I just haven’t met the right man yet. Either way, I want to remove everything that will keep me out of God’s will.
I am going to be a full participant in my marriage and I don’t want anything in me to hinder it. Moreover, I don’t want anything in me to hinder any blessing God has for me.
So, I’m taking the last quarter of 2018 to focus on becoming whole. I still desire marriage. By focusing on my own healing, wholeness, and deliverance I’ll just be better prepared for it.
I’m not perfect and I’m not expecting my husband to be either. I am going to keep pushing to be a better version of me though. Not for my husband, but to please God. I want everything He placed in me to be poured out.
I believe it’s time for us to focus on becoming whole and satisfied by ourselves. God is faithful even in our singleness. After all, the goal isn’t marriage. The ultimate goal is to get to heaven and I’m determined to get there.
Watch the latest podcast episode: Why Celibacy?
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